Joke things. Can't be used in normal battles. Just a good old fashioned meme.

Rehab: You can no longer get Drank during the battle.

Frostburn: SPD Down (2) and takes 1 damage per turn. (Ice Crystal)

Infinite Fast: go so fast you break the space-time continuum, making you unable to be damaged and sending you back two matches prior.

Jazz: The following Status Effects can not be applied to you: Angry, Sleep, Dizzy, Confused, Intensified, Freezing, Electrified, Sharp, Poppable, Flipped, Immobilized, Payback, Superguard,, Or Taunted. (Jazzy Broozer)

Oldness: Used as a counter. Speed is lowered by 2 per charge. (Poison Mushroom Elder Mushroom)

Practicing: Used as a counter. Attacks do +1 damage per charge if you succeed at the action command. Damage dealt to you is deceased by 1 per charge if you block. (Practice Bro) (STACKS INFINITELY)

Puyo: Used as a counter. (Puyo) (Maybe it stacks infinitely just like Drank? :P)

Speed: If an attack isn't chosen in under 20 seconds, the infliced will instantly die. (Practice Bro)

Transformed: Gain 20 in DEF, POW, and SPD until untransformed. Can be knocked out of if an attack that has been unblocked gives stun or daze.

Ultra Fast: go 5 times in one turn.

Varied: Countdown commands have a 50% chance of being Drain commands, Drain commands have a 50% chance of being Countdown commands, and Magic commands have a 50% chance of being either Countdown commands or Drain commands. (Practice Bro)